SECRETS Vol. 4 by H. M. Ward & Ella Steele

Author:H. M. Ward & Ella Steele
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Laree Bailey Press
Published: 2012-11-23T00:00:00.957000+00:00

CHAPTER 8

Sunlight pours between the slats and blinds me. I roll over and pull my blanket over my head. Everything is so damn loud. The crinkling blankets sound like snapping boards. I groan and lay on my side, curled into a ball. Cole’s eyes flash across my mind. Random words he said echo through my head. The sensation of his hand on my arm, how warm and strong it felt. These things flicker in my mind and are gone before I can blink. They don’t connect to other thoughts. They just drift, floating on a current of regret that insists on bubbling up my throat.

Emma’s voice is soft, as she speaks from the other side of the door. “Anna, are you alright?” She pushes the door open slowly, without knocking. I vaguely remember walking past her and Edward last night on the way to puking up my guts in the bathroom. “It’s past noon.”

Bleary eyed, I turn over and lay flat on my back, but my stomach is still queasy and protests. I push myself up on my elbows and look at her. My voice is scratchy, “I want to say that I’m fine and smile at you, but I just don’t have it in me to fake it right now. I’m not fine. I’ll never be fine.” I breathe and feel the air fill my lungs. The words have been lodged in my mind for too long. It’s something I know, but didn’t have the heart to say.

Emma walks toward me slowly and sits on the edge of my bed. She pats my leg, saying, “It’ll be better. Give it time.”

“That’s what people say when they don’t know what else to do.” I pull my legs into my chest and clutch my ankles under a wad of blankets. My head hurts. Emma watches me with pity in her eyes. Finally, I say, “I saw him last night.”

“Who? Jesse?” Her pretty face looks confused as she tries to figure out what I mean.

I don’t shake my head. It’ll hurt too much. Dejected, I stare at my bedspread and say, “Cole. I was well on my way to being totally plastered when I looked up and saw him. He sat there, watching me.” I find my voice doesn’t want to work. It’s the closest I’ve been to Cole in nearly a month.

“Oh, Anna. I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.” She scoots up next to me and puts her arm across my back and gives me a sideways hug.

“How do I get over him?” I ask, looking at her. Emma’s been my best friend for years. She’s been there through labs and finals, but this is the first time I’ve had to deal with heartbreak. I wish it would just stop.

“I don’t know, Anna. I’ve never been that into a guy. I’m actually a little jealous about that.”

“What?” I say, and glance at her, stunned. Emma always has a guy hanging around her. She seems crazy about most of them. Her answer surprises me.

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